Big hospital room dimly lit. Oh hey, there is my friend. She is arguing with a nurse. Something about if they don’t leave me alone I can never rest. The nurse goes away. I go back to sleep.
I wake up and say, “Hi”. She gets me some food and I think she feeds me. Back to sleep.
I am awake now more than asleep. They give me the diabetic meal plan and I complain. They don’t change it. I am too tired to argue. My IV pole holds several large bags – they change them every few hours. Lots of antibiotics flow into my veins. I sleep.
Finally, I am better. I have walked around with the IV pole and done my duty in the bathroom. I am going home.
Home, back in bed, I break out with the mother of all yeast infections – it is everywhere! Add another med to my growing list.
Back to work and I feel shaky and out of it but I persevere. Gradually I regain my strength and my wits. A couple of weeks go by and guess what? It is time for radiation.
The nurses and technicians are very friendly and matter of fact. That helps as I lay there with my poor scarred boob out for the entire world to see. The set up takes the longest, the radiation no time at all. They give me creams and lotions to apply and say to put it on three times a day. Sure, I will just grease up at work and ruin all my clothes. NOT. I apply the lotions twice a day. My breast turns red and brownish. It is uncomfortable but not too painful. I wear my loose bra and take Advil. I am tired but not nauseated. Praise the Lord!
Soon it is over and I am free from intense medical treatment for the first time in over a year. Scary shit. If I am not seeing the doctor every week, how will I know that I am ok?
Now it has been a couple of years and I am still ok. For me, as for many others, there is Before Cancer and After Cancer. I’ve graduated to 6 month visits with my oncologist. I have what seem to be permanent hot flashes. I am fat but losing weight. Life is better. God has kept me around for some reason and I work at trying to do His will.
Help Me Hold My Feet to the Fire
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